It has now been 3 weeks since we lost mom, and we are all headed back into life. We have all had a huge change in our lives, especially Philip. Who is now living with my dad and grandmother. This transition seems to be going well. Please pray for him as the reality of life starts to sink in.
Loosing our mom has really made us realize the importance of every day and also that life needs to be lived with a positive attitude, it can make the biggest difference in dealing with each day.
We want to strive to live better lives. We also want to live long, and live well, and happy.
We all miss our mom very much, for Aaron and I mom was our sounding board, our friend and the one who gave us advice, love and support. It is very different now, and we both feel very robbed of her love, and her presence.
I will admit it is hard not to be mad at God, for allowing us to loose our mom in the middle of her life. It seems unfair, unjust and unreal. However it is real, this is the new reality, and I keep wondering if this ache in my heart will ever go away.
I talked once to my mom about how important she was to me, and in the context of the conversation we were having was about putting my trust in God, and I was finding very hard to do in the midst of infertility. She asked me if I had made her my God. I was shocked at first, but I realized she was right. I trusted my mom with everything, because she would give me answers, a hug, or a kind word of support. In the midst of great heart ache being childless I had made my mom more important than my God and Saviour. This all took place before she was diagnosed with cancer the 2nd time. I had to work very hard at making sure that my mom stayed my mom, and not put her before God because all though she was my hero, she was still human, and she was dying of cancer. My mom is gone now, and my sounding board is missing, my hero has flown the coop, gone on to bigger and better things. Now I must put my trust in my heavenly father, hard to do, when I don't understand the reasons that my mom is not here. At first I was at peace, but now my heart just aches, and my spirit is crying out God for support, love and understanding. My best friend is MIA in the Heaven's, Praise the Lord! But I am here, mourning, collecting all the stones that I have thrown. One day at a time, mom said, so I live one day at a time.
Please continue to pray for us, please pray for peace, assurance and courage to face each day with Joy, love and Hope.
In Christ's Love,
Alida and Family
Loosing our mom has really made us realize the importance of every day and also that life needs to be lived with a positive attitude, it can make the biggest difference in dealing with each day.
We want to strive to live better lives. We also want to live long, and live well, and happy.
We all miss our mom very much, for Aaron and I mom was our sounding board, our friend and the one who gave us advice, love and support. It is very different now, and we both feel very robbed of her love, and her presence.
I will admit it is hard not to be mad at God, for allowing us to loose our mom in the middle of her life. It seems unfair, unjust and unreal. However it is real, this is the new reality, and I keep wondering if this ache in my heart will ever go away.
I talked once to my mom about how important she was to me, and in the context of the conversation we were having was about putting my trust in God, and I was finding very hard to do in the midst of infertility. She asked me if I had made her my God. I was shocked at first, but I realized she was right. I trusted my mom with everything, because she would give me answers, a hug, or a kind word of support. In the midst of great heart ache being childless I had made my mom more important than my God and Saviour. This all took place before she was diagnosed with cancer the 2nd time. I had to work very hard at making sure that my mom stayed my mom, and not put her before God because all though she was my hero, she was still human, and she was dying of cancer. My mom is gone now, and my sounding board is missing, my hero has flown the coop, gone on to bigger and better things. Now I must put my trust in my heavenly father, hard to do, when I don't understand the reasons that my mom is not here. At first I was at peace, but now my heart just aches, and my spirit is crying out God for support, love and understanding. My best friend is MIA in the Heaven's, Praise the Lord! But I am here, mourning, collecting all the stones that I have thrown. One day at a time, mom said, so I live one day at a time.
Please continue to pray for us, please pray for peace, assurance and courage to face each day with Joy, love and Hope.
In Christ's Love,
Alida and Family
No comments:
Post a Comment